Your wedding ceremony is one of the rare moments in life where you get to look your favourite person in the eyes and tell them exactly how you feel, in front of your closest family and friends.
Thinking of writing your own wedding vows? Even if public speaking isn’t usually your thing and the thought of getting a little mushy in front of everyone feels a little nerve-wracking, I promise it’s more than worth it (and you’ll survive!) Vulnerable, heartfelt, funny, a little bit cheeky or a bit of everything, there’s no wrong way to do it. Aside from the few legal words your celebrant will take care of, the rest is entirely up to you.
If you’re looking for a little guidance or inspiration on how to tackle your personal vows, I’ve put together this guide with step-by-step vow writing tips, a free fill-in-the-blank template, and a few pointers to help you nail the delivery on the day.
The Easiest Wedding Vows Template — Just Fill in the Blanks!
“[Name],
From the moment [share a brief memory from when you met or the beginning of your relationship], I knew there was something special about you.
I love your [quality], your [quality], and the way you always [something thoughtful or loving they do].
You make me feel [safe/loved/happy/completely myself], and I love that we can [something fun or meaningful you enjoy together].
You make me laugh when [a funny habit, little quirk or shared joke], and somehow, you even make [an ordinary or slightly annoying part of life] better.
I promise to [meaningful promise], to support you through [something important], and to always [personal promise unique to your relationship].
I promise to laugh with you, grow with you and stand beside you through every adventure, challenge and unexpected twist still to come.
I also promise to [add a playful promise—such as sharing the snacks, pretending not to notice another online order or letting them control the TV occasionally].
You are my best friend, my favourite person and the one I want beside me for all the chapters ahead.
I choose you today, and I promise to keep choosing you every day.”
A Step-By-Step Guide on How to Write Your Own Wedding Vows
Prefer to skip the template and write your own vows completely from scratch? Here’s an easy, no-stress approach to getting your vows out of your head and onto paper.
Step 1: Have a quick chat with your partner
Before you start, it’s worth having a brief conversation with your partner about a few things:
Agree on a rough length (one to two minutes each is a good rule of thumb)
Decide whether you’ll write and share the same vows or different ones
Figure out whether you want to work on your vows together or separately (as a surprise)
Whether you’d like to exchange your vows privately during your first look or a separate part of the day (and keep the ceremony to just the legal stuff)
Because the last thing you want is one of you making a quick-sticks 30-second speech and the other preparing a 15-minute monologue, this just helps ensure you’re both on the same page.
Step 2: Decide on a rough structure
Instead of staring at a blank page with no idea where to start, following a loose framework will make the process much less daunting. Something like this will work beautifully:
Open with what brought you to this moment and why this person
What you love about them and what they mean to you
What you’re looking forward to sharing in the future
A few promises for how you’ll continue showing up for them
A simple, heartfelt closing line.
You don’t have to follow this exactly to a tee; just think of it as a starting point.
Step 3: Start drafting
With your structure in hand, start writing freely without overthinking it. Don’t worry about making it perfect on the first go; just jot down all your thoughts and edit later.
Write the way you actually talk and don’t be afraid to let your personality come through! A specific memory, one or two silly inside jokes, or some cheeky ribbing will always land better than you robotically reading a beautifully constructed sentence that doesn’t even sound like you.
Step 4: Read them out loud and time yourself
Just like practising a presentation at school or work, reading your vows out loud makes a world of difference. You'll quickly notice which bits flow naturally and which bits feel a little clunky or long-winded.
Don’t forget to time yourself too! If you find yourself rushing and consistently running over two minutes, look for bits you can cut without losing the overall heart of it.
Step 5: Share your personal vows with your celebrant (optional)
If you're keeping your vows a surprise from your partner but would love a second opinion, your celebrant is the perfect person to run them by.
Having heard plenty of vows over the years, they'll give you honest, constructive feedback and can help you make any final tweaks before the big day.
Step 6: Save and print a clean copy
Once you're happy with your vows, print a clean copy in a large, easy-to-read font on nice paper. While it might be tempting to save them on your phone, screens have a sneaky way of working against you — screen auto-lock, sun glare, notifications popping up at the worst possible moment.
Having a printed copy on hand is always the safer option. I also recommend sending a copy to your celebrant so they’ll have a backup if you misplace it or forget to bring it on the day. (Psst… if you’ve hired me as your marriage celebrant, I’ll personally print your vows and have them ready for you on the day, as a little keepsake pressie from me to you!)
Tips for Writing Vows That Sound Like You
Keep it authentic
You don’t need to be Shakespeare 2.0. There’s no need for big, flowery language or profound declarations. Your personal wedding vows should sound like you, the way you actually talk and the words you actually use.
If you wouldn’t say “my heart overflows with boundless adoration every time I gaze up on you” in real life, don’t put it in your vows. If everyone knows you’re a liberal swearer and “I f*cking love your guts” feels right, do it. If in doubt, read everything out loud to see how naturally it comes out.
Get specific
The more specific and personal the detail, the more your vows will reflect who you are and the connection you share. Rather than "you make me a better person", try pinpointing specific scenarios or character traits, something like "thank you for putting up with my occasional road rage and always talking me down afterwards."
Bonus points if it's something your closest friends and family are already in on too. Those shared moments and memories are what make your guests feel like they're part of your story, not just there to watch it.
A little banter goes a long way
If your relationship thrives on banter and teasing each other, let that come through. Just because a wedding ceremony feels like a formal, “official” occasion doesn’t mean you need to be all stiff and proper too. Aside from the legal bits, you can make your vows (and your whole ceremony) completely your own.
A well-timed joke about your partner’s inability to load the dishwasher properly or a silly first date blunder will get a laugh and remind everyone exactly why you two are meant for each other. Just keep it affectionate rather than full-blown roasting.
How to Deliver Your Vows on the Day
Vows, done, tick. YAY! But now you’re imagining yourself actually standing up there and saying them out loud, with every eye in the room on you… and you’re feeling a little queasy. Even more so if you're naturally on the quieter or more introverted side, the mere thought of that kind of vulnerability in front of a crowd can feel genuinely overwhelming.
No matter how nervous or confident you are, here are a few simple tips to help you nail the delivery:
Keep it short and sweet. One to two minutes is the sweet spot. It's long enough to say everything that matters and short enough to keep your guests engaged.
Practice, practice, practice. You don’t have to memorise your vows word for word, but the more familiar you are with them before the day, the more natural and confident you'll feel delivering them. Read them out loud as often as you can in the days leading up to the wedding, whether it’s at the mirror, in the car on the way to work, in the shower, or to your dog.
Slow down and breathe. Nerves are completely normal and expected. If you feel yourself speeding up or your voice starting to wobble, take a deep, slow breath and give yourself permission to pause. A moment of silence feels meaningful, not awkward.
Just remember: your guests are there because they already love and support you, not to judge you. But most importantly, the only person you need to focus on is the one whose hands you’re holding, standing right there with you — you can tune everything and everyone else out.
Let's Plan a Ceremony Worth Crying and Laughing Over
Whether you decide to use my template, follow my step-by-step guide, or wing it entirely, writing your own wedding vows is one of the most genuine, meaningful things you can do for your ceremony. You don’t have to impress anyone, but simply express your love and commitment in a way that feels most natural to you.
And if you’d love a little extra support along the way, whether it’s writing your vows or planning your ceremony from start to finish, that’s exactly what I’m here for! I’m a Brisbane-based marriage celebrant who’ll pull all the (heart) strings to make your wedding day feel extra personal and extra you.
Explore my celebrant services and packages, or get in touch so we can start planning your kind of perfect.